A Carer's Story and Poem
From working in a building society, then in a post office, to caring for Mum which took over my life.
Starting with just giving her company after Dad died, then more company on dentist, hospital and shopping trips and then to taking her to all appointments and the more enjoyable garden centre outings.
Helping with the garden, helping in the house and time just to sit and talk and time to just sit.
Then Mum had a major stroke, she no longer recognised us, didn’t know where she lived, or how to go to the loo, how to make a drink or any food, she didn’t know she had 3 children, 4 grandchildren a dog and a house.
Now that was so painful, the lights were on and no one was at home, there was no love when she looked at you, just blank…phew, that was the hardest thing I have ever had to face in my life. My husband said to think of her as Mum mark 2 model, Mum with a few different bits…and that is how I got through it.
Mum had a brilliant doctor who was so good to her and supported me all the way, he never batted an eye when she poked out her tongue at him or told him to go away and so I didn’t get embarrassed either just accepted things as they were.
After 2 years of hard heart-breaking love and care a sense of humour and patience of a saint Mum passed away into a pain-free world.
A few years later after anger, grief and finally acceptance I was ready to go back to work. I thought I might give caring a try, though worried if I would be strong enough to spread myself to more than one person.
I found my niche being a carer, looking after those who by choice or necessity came into the home where I now worked.
I give all I can, a smile, assistance, my ear, advice when asked for and most important my time, give them time, time to think, time to do, time to talk, time to feel ready for whatever comes next whether it be breakfast, hairdresser, doctor appointment or just to face the day.
I talk about daily news, sport, farming, dressmaking, mining, factory work, music, books and anything they have an interest in.
I give cuddles, my shoulder to cry on, the tissues out of my pocket, toiletries to those in need, my singing voice and dance moves so they can join in and before they know it they are smiling and laughing singing and those that can give a few of their best dance moves too.
I give them homemade treats, show pictures of my flowers and vegs and dogs to those who want to see and be part of my life it gives them a feeling of belonging.
I give my time and make all their Birthday cards on both sides of the home and make them especially for what they are interested in and their colours, an extra touch that generates more smiles and that is the name of the game.
A Carer’s Poem
Oh to be a carer and look after those
Who for this, is not the life they chose.
It makes you feel proud and you can stand tall,
Another day you gave your all.
A helping hand, a willing ear
Gives them confidence with no fear.
If I can do this, you can too
They just need a helping hand to pull them through.
Shouting, crying, singing or laughing,
Sleeping, eating, dressing or bathing.
It’s you they need to make their day,
Come and give it a go, what do you say?
Time is precious to those in need,
Happiness comes from a few good deeds.
So, it is given freely along with a smile
Why don’t you come and give it a trial?